Fire Zone Wrestling: The Reboot again
by AshWrites99
Summary: From the ashes of the once average FZW came a relaunch with a pep rally. Now with that failure FZW has been reborn again into...this. Don't expect ACW quality guys
1. The Reboot again

Brian Zane sits in his office with Jason Sabre across from him.

"Thank you for coming to my office." Brian said with his blazer over his SSW Forever Shirt.

"This isn't a office. This is the men's restroom." Jason said, before the camera pans out to reveal Brian Zane sitting on a urinal with his pants down as Jason stands up. "Also, you're not supposed to crap on those."

"I was the former owner of FZW! I don't follow the rules." Brian shouts at Sabre.

"Former…" Sabre notes.

"Yes Jason. It is time for me to retire." Brian said, before standing up and pulling his pants up without wiping.

"I thought you were already retired. We haven't had a show in forever." Jason said

"I know. I can't afford it. FZW brings in no money at all. But you...you have a lot of money. ACW is a money making machine. So I'm giving you the keys to FZW." Brian said, before handing Jason a set of keys.

"What are these the keys for? There's no arena for FZW." Jason said

"The ring in FZW is in a storage closet at Grace M Davis High School." Brian said.

"Where the fuck is that?" Jason asked.

"Modesto, California!" Brian said

"We're in Los Angeles right now. I'm not going to Modesto for a crappy wrestling ring." Jason said

"Then send one of the boys. You own their contracts, you can do whatever with them." Brian said.

"Why do I have to run this shit show of a promotion?" Jason asked.

"Because you're the World Champion, so have fun." Brian said, before offering his hand.

"You didn't wash your hands." Jason said.

"It's okay, I didn't wipe either." Brian said, before Sabre left the bathroom, ignoring him. Sabre looked at the keys.

"How the fuck did I end up with FZW. Whatever- I'll just use it as a tax write off and do nothing else with the company." Jason said

 _The next day_

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is uh...Ash Meltzer and Freddy Alvarez. We have just gotten news of Jason Sabre becoming the new owner of FZW. This is a huge. It must mean that we will finally have a good show under FZW's banner." Ash Meltzer spoke causing Jason to groan as he listens to the podcast from his car.

"How the fuck did the dirt sheets find out?" Jason says

 _The day before_

After Jason leaves the bathroom, a stall door opens and out walks a little African American boy in a dashiki. He has a notepad.

"Very interesting." The boy said

"Who are you?" Asked Brian

"I am Low Kai. I am a member of LuchaLeaks. I expose the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth." Low Kai said

 _Present day_

"I'm going to kill the mark who did that. Now people are expecting me to put on a actual wrestling show." Jason said.

* * *

The scene then transitions to legendary jobber Ray Kiran standing in the middle of a wrestling ring with a microphone. There is a single spotlight on him as the arena seems to be darkened. He raises the mic to his mouth and begins to sing

" _I wanna be the very best  
Like no one ever was  
To catch them is my real test  
To train them is my cause_

 _I will travel across the land  
Searching far and wide  
Teach Pokémon to understand  
The power that's inside" _Ray Kiran says before Jerry Buckler pops up in the background with his own mic __

" _Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all"_ Jerry said

" _It's you and me  
I know it's my destiny  
Oh, you're my best friend  
In a world we must defend" Kiran sings_

 __" _Pokémon, gotta catch 'em all" Jerry sings_

" _A heart so true  
Our courage will pull us through  
You teach me and I'll teach you  
Pokémon!" Kiran sings_

" _Gotta catch 'em all, Gotta catch 'em all" Jerry sings_

The crowd then boos loudly as the lights come on. The entire FZW Roster is seen around the ring embarrassed, before Jason Sabre steps into the ring.

"Sorry about that." Jason said as Ray Kiran and Jerry Buckler take a bow. "Actually sorry about this whole show. This is actually a pep rally, because that's how FZW likes to start new eras. I don't really want to own it, so I don't give a shit and I'm letting everyone do whatever the hell they want while I leave. So enjoy the show"

 **(FU System by Dale Oliver plays)**

The crowd is confused and suddenly you can hear the heat pour in as Vince Russo walks onto the stage. The music fades

"Bro, you don't own FZW Bro. It's a swerve. The paper was signed by a Mr. Sabre, but it wasn't Jason Sabre." Russo said

 **(Real Bone Master plays)**

The smarks go wild as Zack Sabre Jr comes out in his signature UK jacket and tights. Then it turns into boos as he unzips his jacket to reveal a 'I'm a Vince Russo Guy' T-Shirt.

"That's right Jason, I am the owner of FZW!" Zack reveals as the crowd boos him.

"Why are you wearing a T-Shirt and underwear. Dress like you're the boss for fucks sake….actually this is FZW. That's the perfect attire." Jason said

"Whatever. Anyways, my first order of business is to hand over all of FZW's assets to the leader of Russo-Gun, Vince FUCKING Russo!" Zack says getting even here.

"And as the owner of FZW, I am vacating all of the Championships. Brutus Vicious, you're not the Champion of Television anymore bro. Ezekiel Myers, you're not the champion of vanilla midget-weights anymore bro. Unicorn and Sigma you're not the champion of teams anymore bro...and bro with a vag bro. And Jason you are no longer the Champion of international Heavyweights. It's time for a new era….the ATTITUDE ERA!" Russo said

The crowd cheers because nostalgia

"Fuck that 1990's shit." Jason said. "You want this title, then take it from me."

"Fine then bro. It's a swerve. All of you keep your titles, except you Ezekiel, SWERVE. This is a wrestling show for men bro. Not cirque du soleil bro. As for you Jason Bro. You can defend your title tonight against the newest member of Russo-Gun…."

Suddenly the lights go out and when they come back on, Jinder Mahal is standing behind Sabre. Khallas to Jason Sabre! The crowd boos as we cut to commercial.

 **(Commercial)**

Chris Weapon is standing in the middle of the ring with a Microphone. The crowd is booing.

"I know. All this time I've spent in FZW, I've been nothing but a bad person. But that was all just a gimmick. It was a character for heat. I don't believe anything I've ever said. This is not Chris Weapon talking as a gimmick. This is me SHOOTING straight from the hip. I am not a racist. In fact, I love all races and approve of racial equality. On top of that I love the LGBTQ Community. So I would like to come out...come out as a...SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR!"

 **(Ten Thousand Fists by Disturbed plays)**

The Weaponary come out. Omicorn is on the motorcycle. Riding bitch seat on the motorcycle Sigma. Tiger eye is seated in a sidecar attached to the motorcycle. Meanwhile, Ezekiel Myers sits on Tiger Eye's lap. They are about to ride down the ramp, but the motorcycle suddenly stops. After two minutes of trying to get the motorcycle to work, they all decide to get off and just walk down the ring...but it was a swerve, because they had heelys on! Unfortunately they don't know how to do it right, so they all fall down and roll down the ramp. Finally they help each other up and get into the ring.

"Chris Weapon….you're a pussy now!" Sigma said, causing Chris to gasp.

"How dare you! You should not ever use such derogatory language. It's not PC bruh!" Chris said

"Yeah, well, fuck PC. I like Mac!" Sigma said, before hitting Chris Weapon with a mic. The Weaponary then start to attack their former leader, who doesn't fight back. Omicorn then hits a Powerbomb. Tiger Eye hits a Superbomb (Elevated Powerbomb). Then they pick Chris up so Sigma could hit a superkick. As this is happening Ezekiel Myers is running around the outside of the ring in circles until he gets tired. He then sits down. The Weaponary continue to stomp over their former leader's body until…

 **(Power by Kanye West)**

Freddy Escobar and the Monarchy (King Caesar, Dylan Toress, & DJ Kingston run out. The Weaponry clear the ring. Freddy looks down at SJW Chris Weapon and offers a hand. Chris accepts it and is helped up. Suddenly, the two former enemies have aligned.

"Hey Freddy, I think you should use music from a different artist." Chris said

"No." Freddy said, before we fade to commercial break

 **(Commercial break)**

Brutus Vicious is in the ring with the TV Title. Vince Russo comes out with Zack Sabre Jr.

"Bro, it's about time for a match and It will be for the TV Championship bro. Brutus, you don't have the look for TV bro. You're not a draw bro. But your opponent and the newest member of Russo-Gun is though." Vince Russo said.

 **(Here Comes the Pain by Jim Johnston plays)**

The crowd rise up onto their feets as Paul Heymen comes out with Brock Lesnar. But then Paul grabs a mic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heymen and I am the advocate for the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar. Brutus, Brock Lesnar should take you to Suplex City right now. The keyword there is should, but he won't. Because Brock Lesnar doesn't work TV Matches. Brock Lesnar is a Pay-Per-View attraction. So I am giving you the chance to give your title to Brock Lesnar." Paul said

"Excuse me bro. I wasn't talking about Brock Bro." Vince Russo said from the top of the ramp. "I was talking about him."

Suddenly Brutus gets hit in the back of the head with a chair. Brock looks up to see Spongebob Squarepants in front of him. Spongebob hits Lesnar over the head with a chair and throws him outside, before pinning Brutus. 1...2….3. Spongebob is the new Television Champion, but it's a swerve!

Because he takes the costume off to reveal…

LA PARKA!

La Parka starts to do his WCW dance as the crowd join along even though he's a heel. Fade to black

 **(Commercial)**

We come back to see JJ Hopkins, Gabriel and Damian Jordan, The Devils Associates around a weird circular symbol. They stand around it holding hands as candle light up the otherwise dark room.

"It is time to summon our horseman of the apocolypse." JJ said, before something appeared in the middle of the symbol….

A Twerking Pennywise the Clown!

"I think you did it wrong." Gabriel said

 **(Back to the arena)**

 **(Weight of my Pride by Pay Money to my Pain plays)**

Jason Sabre comes out with his FZW International Heavyweight Championship

 **(Sher by CFO$ plays)**

The crowd boos as Jinder comes out with Vince Russo, the new TV Champion La Parka, Zack Sabre Jr and for some reason….Virgil.

The bell rings, but before the two can even touch, La Parka, Zack Sabre Jr, Virgil and Jinder jump Jason. Jason tries his best but it's not enough. He throws a punch at Virgil to knock him back, but the other three are on him. He needs help….and he got one

 **(The Show Must Go On by Three Night Dog plays)**

The crowd explodes as Psycho Clown comes out with his awesome guitar. Psycho Clown runs in and starts playing his guitar as fire shoots out. Russo-Gun runs out of the ring, before the fire touches them. Jason gets to his feet and looks straight at Psycho Clown. The crowd on their feet as Psycho offers a hand to Jason, but Jason doesn't shake. The crowd boos as Sabre walks past Psycho Clown, up the ramp and backstage….

But it's a swerve

Jason Sabre comes back out with his own awesome guitar that shoots out flames. He re enters the ring and he looks at Psycho Clown. The two then begin to play their fire spitting guitars together as the SuperUltraMegaPowers have united in the name of rock n roll as the show ends.

* * *

 **A/N: Truly my finest work. You're welcome**


	2. Forest of Swerve

The entire FZW roster is in a forest when Chris Wolf walks out from the woods

"AWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAA." Chris Wolf roars, before Vince Russo shows up from behind and hits him in the back of the head with a Baseball bat.

"Alright bro. We're holding a pep rally because our arena was burned down because Psycho Clown and Jason Sabre's solo." Vince Russo said

"So we're finally closing down this shithole of a promotion and going on a camping trip to celebrate?" Jason said

"No bro. We're going to hold a show in the forest where we're going to have a free for all climb the tree match for the Tag Team Championships bro. You win the match by climbing this tree and then unstrapping the titles from the branches bro. Pull down the Championship bro. The two people who get the titles will be the tag team Champions bro." Vince Russo explains, before Daniel Bryan steps up.

"I just want everyone to know that I am the Tag Team Champions and will be winning both Championships." Daniel Bryan said, before Brock Lesnar came up from behind and German Suplexed him into the tree. The move causes the tree to shake and the tag title hits Jerry Buckler in the head, knocking him out. A bunch of wrestlers pile onto the tag title as the others start climbing the tree and fighting for the other one. Suddenly, La Parka comes out of the Dog pile with the Tag Team Championship in his hands.

"La Parka is one half of the tag team champions and TV Champion bro." Vince Russo said

Meanwhile on the tree, Omicorn was climbing up the tree as everyone is slightly below her, throwing punches. Then Jinder Mahal grabs her by the leg and pulls her off the tree. As she falls down, Psycho Clown jumps off the tree to catch her with a spear, causing the two to crash on all the wrestlers below. Soon a lot of wrestlers were punching each other off the tree until only Brutus Vicious, Virgil, & Dylan Torres remain. As this happens, Ezekiel Myers is running around the tree. Brutus reaches the branch and climbs on it, but the branch breaks under his weight. The branch and Brutus land on Ezekiel. Suddenly, Vince Russo walks up and grabs the tag title from the tree branch.

"Bro, you guys are ruining my gimmick bro. So tonight, we're going to have a six man elimination match between six different wrestlers to determine one half of the tag team champions with La Parka bro. And also bro, the winner will join Russo-Gun bro." Vince Russo announces.

"I'm good. Count me out." Jason Sabre said.

"Fine then bro, you are going to defend you FZW Regional Statewide International World Universal Heavyweight Championship against Jinder Mahal in our main event tonight bro." Vince Russo said

"Again?" Jason sighs

"No bro, it's a swerve bro. You're facing this man in the main event of tonight bro." Vince Russo said

Suddenly Jason gets turned around and hit with a toy replica of the WWE Championship by Enzo Amore.

"How ya doing?" Enzo Amore

"That's right bro. FZW has signed the Real WWE Champion Enzo Amore bro. FZW is going to war with up north bro! This is the Monday Night War." Russo said as Sabre gets up rubbing his head.

"We don't air on the same timeslot as Raw. We air on the same timeslot of WWE Main Event in the Russia!" Jason said

"Whatever bro. Cut to commercial bro." Vince Russo said

 **(Commercial)**

Sin Cara, Jerry Buckler, Ray Kiran, Brutus Viscious, Detrick Cyrus & Virgil all stand in a circle, before the bell rings. Ray Kiran charges at Brutus at the speed of a snail, but Brutus puts his fist up, knocking Kiran out and eliminating him in this tag championship match. Detrick then rolls up Brutus and gets a 3 count. Then Jerry Buckler walks away into the forest and is counted out despite there being no place to be counted out of. Virgil tries to sell Sin Cara a autograph of himself, but Detrick schoolboys Virgil behind to eliminate him. Sin Cara points at Detrick but Detrick walks behind her and Schoolboys him. He gets the three and wins the FZW Tag Team Championship.

Detrick is given his half of the tag team Championship by La Parka who then hugs him, but it's a swerve!

La Parka hits him with the title as Vince Russo comes out.

"Unfortunately, bro, Detrick wasn't told that Sin Cara wasn't the sixth man in this match bro. This person was bro. They are the newest member of Russo-Gun bro. They are..." Vince Russo said before Zack Sabre Jr comes out with a boombox, sets it down and puts in a cassette tape.

 **(Disco Fever plays)**

Disco Inferno walks out from behind the tree and pins Detrick as Russo counts to three. La Parka and Disco Inferno celebrate with their title.

 **(Ad Break)**

We come back to see JJ Hopkins, Gabriel and Damian Jordan, The Devils Associates around a weird circular symbol. They stand around it holding hands as candles are lighted up despite them being outside in a forest.

"Now it's time to summon our horsemen of apocalypse." JJ said

Suddenly CJ Hawk appears in a Big Bird costume

"I think we did it wrong." Gabriel said

"Hey, I'm not a Horsemen of Apocalypse, I'm just a wrestler." CJ said

We cut back to Jason Sabre and Enzo Amore stand across from each other with their titles. Zack Sabre Jr comes out with his boom box, sets it down and puts a Cassette tape in.

 **(FU System by Dale Oliver)**

Vince Russo comes out with a microphone.

"Why do you have a microphone? There's no crowd or need for it." Jason said

"Listen bro, this match needs some spice. Let's make it a double title match for the FZW Whatever title and the WWE Championship." Russo said before leaving.

Enzo tries to hit Jason with the title, but he ducks and hits a Final Blow into the dirt. Jason pins hi and wins the title while retaining his own.

"Can we end this shit?" Asked Sabre, before Brian Zane walks out from behind the forest.

"Jason, I have been sitting back and watching when Russo has been doing to my company for too long." Brian Zane said

"It's been two weeks." Sabre said

"I am sick of you people ruining my promo. This is F...Z...FUCKING-"

"Watch your language." Chris Weapon said from behind a bush as him and Freddy stand next to each other urinating

"You peed on my shoe Chris." Freddy said

"Don't kink shame me. It's not PC bruh." Chris said

"Anyways, I am declaring a Civil War on Russo-Gun for FZW." Brian said

"God fucking dammit!" Jason shouts, suddenly Will Ralston and a identical person comes out and stands next to Sabre.

"We're in." Will Ralston said

"Who the fuck is that?!" Brian asked.

"That's Bill. He takes the pins." Jason explains, before Psycho Clown comes out. He looks at Jason and then Brian Zane.

"Psycho Clown will you help?" Asked Brian

Psycho Clown looks at him, before noticing Vince Russo, Zack Sabre Jr, Virgil, La Parka, Jinder Mahal, Disco Inferno & Enzo Amore surrounding him.

"Psycho Clown, don't join them or else bro? Join us bro." Russo said

"Else what?" Brian asked

"Or else, we'll deport you!" Vince Russo said

"Psycho don't!" Ray Kiran shouts as the roster starts a 'No' chant. Psycho Clown looks at Jason, before walking toward Vince Russo with a single tear in his eye. He shakes Russo's hand, joining Russo-Gun

"This is fucking stupid." Jason said


	3. FZW Civil War

The show opens as we are somewhere in Gettysburg where there's a ring that has fans around the ring. Zack Sabre Jr comes out with his boombox, sets it down and suddenly 'Gold Medal' begins to play as Kurt Angle comes out and steps into the ring and grabs a microphone.

"My name is Kurt Angle and I am here where many people died in a civil war to host WFA FZW Civil War." Kurt said, before getting hit from behind by a masked man wearing a Rey Mysterio mask. The masked man takes off his rey Mysterio mask to reveal another Rey Mysterio mask. He takes a mic

"I'm the host now. Booyaka! Booyaka!" Rey said

"Hold up bro." Vince Russo said as he came out to the ring with Zack Sabre Jr, TV and Tag champ La Parka, Tag Champ Disco Inferno, Jinder Mahal, Virgil, Enzo Amore and Psycho Clown aka Russo-Gun come out. "I run this show, so I decide who hosts it bro. So we're going to have ourselves of a bow tie on a pole match to determine the host."

Suddenly we see a pole being set up. Rey climbs it and retrieves the bow tie

"Hold up bro, I got a swerve. Rey you're defending your Host bow tie Championship against anyone." Vince said

 **(Breaking Through by the Wreckage plays)**

CJ Hawk comes out.

"Did someone say wrestling?" Asked CJ

"No bro. It's a swerve. This is a pillow fight bro. That's how you get ratings" Vince said

"Man I'm out of here." CJ said. After a few moments….

Sin Cara slides in from behind and rolls Rey up for a 3 count. Sin Cara puts the bow tie on and leaves the ring. He looks up at Russo-Gun and points at them.

 **(Commercial)**

Sin Cara comes out a bunch of wrestlers and fans are seen around the ring. Sin Cara points at someone and then a wrestler walks into the ring. It's Bobby Lashley!

Suddenly….

 **(Thriller by Michael Jackson)**

La Parka comes out with the TV title and a steel chair. He comes out as the ref raises the title. The bell rings. La Parka is about to kick him but he breaks his hip and falls to the ring mat so Lashley pins him for a 3. The crowd is shocked as Russo-Gun runs out with medics. Lashley puts the title with the plate facing his back and bends over in front of La Parka who is on a stretcher while pointing at his glutes. Russo-Gun helps walk La Parka on the stretcher up the ramp, before Vince takes a mic

"You know what bro….Swerve him"

Suddenly Disco pushes the stretcher over and everyone stomps on La Parka and his bad hip.

 **(Commercial)**

 **(Why Can't we be Friends by War)**

The Monarchy and Chris Weapon come out.

"Now that I am a Social Justice Warrior, I want to take things to the next level by announcing that I am officially turning homosexual and I would like to introduce my new boyfriend…." Chris said, before pointing at the stage which is just a piece of cardboard on the floor

Suddenly the Weaponry come out with their motorcycle and 3 sidecars for everyone not named Omicorn. In the back, we see Rico Constantino with his foot tied to the back of the motorcycle being driven down. Unfortunately they crash into the ring apron and the motorcycle breaks.

"Ezekiel I told you to buy brakes." Tiger Eye shouts as he sees Ezekiel Myers running around in a circle, chasing after a butterfly. "God damn retard"

"That's not PC bruh." Chris said

 **(Commercial)**

Russo-Gun is in the ring

"Alright Bro. I've been waiting all night. It's time for the Civil War, so Brian Zane, get out here bro."

Vince Russo, Jinder Mahal, Disco Inferno, Virgil, Enzo Amore & Psycho Clown wait before Brian Zane comes out with WWE and FZW Champion Jason Sabre, Detrick Cyrus, Will Ralston and Bill Ralston next to him.

"Let it be known that this is still fucking stupid and no one wants FZW." Jason Sabre spoke up

"Bro, everyone wants FZW bro. It's the best league out there." Vince Russo said. "But I know what you want bro, so here, tonight in the main event, you will defend the WWE Championship against Psycho Clown and lay down for him unless you want your wife to die…."

Suddenly Ray Kiran wheels out a tube TV with a video of Alexa Bliss tied to a chair.

"I'm married to her?" Jason asked, before thinking. "Oh yeah, UWA."

"But there's more bro…."

Russo said pointing at the TV as the camera pans out to reveal Jeff Jarrett with a guitar.

"Say hello to the newest member of Russo-Gun. Swerve!" Russo said

Jason groans

"Fine." He said before walking down and laying down. Psycho Clown looks down at Sabre as Russo signals for him to pin Jason. Suddenly Psycho Clown says No and punches Russo in the face. Jason gets up as the other guys enter the ring to brawl with Russo-Gun. Russo-Gun escapes as Jason, Detrick, Psycho Clown, Bill Ralston, Will Ralston & Brian Zane stand together

"Okay bro. We'll see you at ACW World War bro." Vince Russo shouts. "And here's a message bro"

Jeff Jarrett hits Alexa Bliss over the head with a guitar as the show goes off air.


End file.
